[ Cas draws closer at that, holding that gaze. If he could still see souls, he wonders what he would see in Grady, and if he would despair over it, or if he's already grown too cold in the caverns of all the once was to still feel one human's aches, so insignificant to the universe that Castiel once was, and such a familiar, painful, insurmountable titan to that which Cas has become. ]
You hurt yourself worse than I'd ever dare.
[ His hands reach, one curling in the fabric of Grady's shirt right above his heartbeat, the other lets fingertips moved through the scrape of beard and upwards, tangling into Grady's hair. Cas doesn't tug. He's close enough that he thinks he almost sees the light beyond Grady's eye. Close enough that their lips almost touch. ]
I'm no one's salvation - but I'm not your punishment, either.
[ Cas can make him feel good for a while. Or less bad, at the very least.
He won't make him hurt. Not like that, at any rate. If Grady needs a regret, that's what Cas can be. If Grady needs a warm body, that's as much as Cas already is. But he won't be a barbed wire around anyone's neck. His cruelty is reserved for himself. ]
no subject
You hurt yourself worse than I'd ever dare.
[ His hands reach, one curling in the fabric of Grady's shirt right above his heartbeat, the other lets fingertips moved through the scrape of beard and upwards, tangling into Grady's hair. Cas doesn't tug. He's close enough that he thinks he almost sees the light beyond Grady's eye. Close enough that their lips almost touch. ]
I'm no one's salvation - but I'm not your punishment, either.
[ Cas can make him feel good for a while. Or less bad, at the very least.
He won't make him hurt. Not like that, at any rate. If Grady needs a regret, that's what Cas can be. If Grady needs a warm body, that's as much as Cas already is. But he won't be a barbed wire around anyone's neck. His cruelty is reserved for himself. ]